In to Deep
Posted on Sun Sep 27th, 2020 @ 11:25pm by
Edited on on Sun Sep 27th, 2020 @ 11:30pm
870 words; about a 4 minute read
Mission:
Episode 10 - New Home, Same Pioneers
Location: Solwick Quarters
Timeline: MD011 0800 hrs
"That went better than I thought it would, maybe I should have gone in there was too many preconceptions about how this would fail. I hate to admit it but maybe the damn program knows what it's talking about." Kalina said if she started thinking about last night's Zaire.
she didn't like the idea that their lives could be computed by a program to determine who is a potential mate for a person could be. She would prefer to meet a guy on her own and marry him, but that opportunity was taken away from her.
Her cultural customs got in the way of her own personal ambitions. She debated about holding her ground. To what end though. She knew she liked him.
And that really scared her, because now she had to accept the reality that a program could interpret how she felt about somebody before she even knew.
Kalina new shoes being a little hard on him last night are there was a big night for her and him. It was a night where she needed to go say it if you would be a good partner for her, in it's really scared her. But deep down she was also glad.
Elephant in the room, was the little five year old girl inside her. The one that l wanted to get married and start a family. , The thought I had not totally slipped your mind he thought you would have a little more time to prep for it. There's no time like the current.
He appeared to be a good man and that was very important to her. She would need a good man by her side, and she knew that.
Kalina did not want to tell him, but she felt a strong connection to him. But she was afraid to say it. She felt there was a mountain between them. A mountain he had to climb over, to reach her own self confidence, and face her biggest fear. That love was measured. Love was something that some can predict.
Kalina knew from her history books, that people were predicting love, way before programs did it for you. They use to hire people to help others find love, to find incompatibilities.
She needed to get over her fear, and accept the reality. But part of her did not want too. Mainly because she was scared, and she was not sure if she was worthy of love. She really wanted to know what love is.
She wanted to feel what love is, and what love looks like. She had no idea, what to expect when it did happen. Or if it would happen.
Kalina wondered if he was the one, she started to imagine what life with him would be like. Could she lower her defenses, and open to him.
She wish she could just let loose, and give him a chance. She wanted to build a relationship with him. She felt that deep in her heart.
Kalina was glad that she met him, and as much as she hated to admit it, but she started to like him. More than in a friendship way.
Kalina wondered what a life with Zaire was going to be like, what type of husband would he be? What type of father would he be? Did he want kids? There was so much more that she wanted to know.
Kalina knew one thing, that was a cornerstone to all relationships. You can not hurry love. She knew that love had to grow on its own. She needed to allow the process to happen naturally.
Which also scared her, because that stupid program was right, and she hated to admit that. She could not resist her feelings for long. She knew that Zaire had fully embraced it.
She wished she could embrace it, but love does not come easy for her. And she knew that. And she heard Zaire say, that he would wait. Part of her wanted to rush the process, and tell her mind to accept him.
Her heart and her were combating one another, and she hated being caught in the middle of it. She asked herself, why are you scared. She could see the logical progression of marriage.
Kalina was now in deep with her heart, and with her hormones, but her mind was stopping her. She debated about overriding her heart, and just going for it. But she had a feeling it was not that easy.
She laid in bed, tossing and turning thinking about how the she felt, and what she wanted, now she needed to make a decision. She felt that she needed too. She needed to be all in, or pull out all the way.
She felt there was no other way. She needed to move on with her life, instead of being a prisoner to it. And she did not want to be a prisoner. She was young, and a whole life to live. Kalina smiled in her bed, as she finally came up with a conclusion to her moral dilemma.
A post by;
Ensign Kalina Solwick
Flight Control Officer, USS Pioneer
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