Geek Chic Part I
Posted on Mon Aug 14th, 2023 @ 3:13pm by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sheldon Leonard PhD & Ensign Connor Turner
Edited on on Mon Aug 14th, 2023 @ 11:43pm
0 words; about a 1 minute read
Mission:
Episode 14 - The Poseidon Adventure
Location: Science Lab 6 - Deck 6 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD014 1300
Sheldon was very precise about his lab--even if he had to share it. A row of holographic superheroes lined the wall on either side of his console where he could see each one of them while working. All had to be at the exact same height. His screen defaulted, not to the Starfleet logo, but to The Flash. He trusted the Flash to keep his data safe more than he trusted Starfleet. He even had an emergency holographic program to protect his data if the ship was ever boarded because it was only logical they would want his data on quantum theory and astrophysics.
He was dismayed when he activated his holoprogram and nothing happened. He ran a quick diagnostic, which said everything was at optimal levels. He tried again. Still nothing. With a huff, he pulled up another program and activated it.
A small domed robot appeared in the room. "Exterminate!"
Sheldon shut it down with a shudder. Why did it have to be that one? Why not K-9? Regardless, it told him the holoemitter was working. He ran another diagnostic. Again, it showed nothing wrong. But there had to be something. His program worked. He tested it in his quarters.
With a sigh he tapped his combadge. "Leonard to operations. I need a computer specialist."
A voice rang over the comm, =^= This is Ensign Connor Turner, please state the nature of your computer problem. =^=
"I have a holographic...assistant that isn't working. It worked in my quarters, but it won't work in the lab. I can activate other programs, but not this one. So, it's not the emitter. Therefore, the only logical assumption is that it's the computer. Can you come fix it today?" Sheldon couldn't expect anyone to come immediately, but sending someone that day was reasonable.
It was refreshing to hear someone talking about computers in a logical fashion. However, such a person might sound logical; however, most people did not know how to handle a computer properly. Therefore, it was incumbent upon him to start with some basic diagnostic questions. =^= Did you turn your holographic assistant on and then off? =^=
"I am not a cadet," Sheldon huffed. "But just to appease you, I shall do so with you listening." He turned the emitter off and then on again, but his program did not run. Then he shut down the console and rebooted it, with the same result. "See? It still won't run. I need this to feel safe while I work. Could you please send someone to have a look?"
=^= I will be there momentarily to take a closer look at it. What diagnostics have you run, if any, on your program? =^= Connor asked as he started heading to off to the science lab where his problem was located.
"I ran a standard diagnostic of the computer. My program ran flawlessly last night on the computer in my quarters. I verified that it was working before I brought a copy to the lab. It's only here it isn't working. My conclusion is that the computer in the lab is not up to the same standards and therefore cannot handle The Flash."
Walking in, Connor told Sheldon in his British accent, "Greetings, I am Ensign Connor Turner, and you should be well aware that computer protocols are more severe in the science labs than in your personal quarters. What do you mean that lab cannot handle 'The Flash'?"
Sheldon looked at the new arrival for a long moment., then indicated the row of superheroes. "The Flash. He's one of the greatest superheroes ever created--except for Batman." He pointed to one and then the other of the holoimages. "I have my own security program consisting of the best superheroes. And yes, I am aware that security is tighter in the labs--as it should be. But sometimes that security is not sufficient. I only run my program in times of emergency, and it works on other ships and other computers. This one is being obstreperous. It meets all security protocols for a starship and should have no trouble in this lab, and yet it does."
"The Flash?" Connor thought about it and said, "The Flash was nothing more than a speedster. Now, if you want a superhero with speed, that can actually do something besides run around you in circles, then you want Spitfire. Probably was faster than The Flash and also is immortal. She could just use her vampiric powers and exterminate The Flash instantly." He shrugged nonchalantly.
"Now, what happened when you tried to integrate your Flash program?
"Nothing. Other programs run, but not this one." Sheldon sighed. "At least, not here."
"Are any of the other programs specially modified from Starfleet standards?"
"Yes." He pulled up a list of programs that had been created by other scientists that weren't Starfleet-issue and ran one. A four-foot high cartoon duck appeared in the room. He had a towel around his waist and a shower cap on his head. "You should have checked to see if I was busy first."
"Interesting," Connor replied, considering the matter. Whether he was referring to the insolent duck or the problem of the Flash program not coming out when this one did. "And who designed all of your programs, including the Flash program?" Connor wondered, likely knowing the answer.
Sheldon raised an eyebrow. Clearly that should be obvious. "I did, of course. It's meant to run on any standard Starfleet computer--and definitely in science."
"I see," Connor noted. "Did you try your Flash program anywhere other than here or in your quarters?" This should eliminate if it is an issue within science or his program, not that I would want to try anyone else's program on another system without thoroughly vetting it first.
"No. Starfleet uses the same protocols on every ship. It worked fine on my last ship, in multiple labs, I might add, and it works in my quarters. Therefore, it should work here as well. And, as this is the lab to which I have been assigned, it is imperative that it work here."
"You have forgotten that in each department there are additional safety protocols given each departments requirements for security and confidentiality. Depending on those settings, your program might function properly elsewhere but not here. What makes it so imperative that your program work here?"
"I don't think my program is any more complex than..." Sheldon waved a hand at the duck still muttering under his breath. "That daffy duck." He sighed. "Besides, I know enough about computer programs to not make one complex enough to trigger any security protocols. You may have dealt with any number of dolts, but I assure you, I am not one of them."
Nodding, Connor responded. "Nobody is accusing you of being a dolt; however, this problem was obviously something you could not solve on your own, requiring my specialty, right? The fact that it works in your quarters and not here indicates some sort of user or programming error."
Sheldon bristled. "It is neither a user nor a programming error. I do not make errors in my programs. It is something wrong with this lab. If you'd like, we can go to the main science lab and I'll show you how well it works."
Just then the holographic duck sputtered, sparked, and de-materialized.
"Indeed? Well, lead on, Lieutenant. It will be interesting to see the results of this experiment." Connor extended a hand to show Sheldon the way.
"Well, I never..." Sheldon said to the space where the duck had been. But he felt vindicated. He made his way back to the main science lab and nodded to the people in the room. "I need to activate a holoprogram to prove a point. Continue with what you were doing."
He sat down at an empty console in a corner and logged in. A minute later, a life-sized holographic image of The Flash stood in the middle of the room. "See?" he said to Connor. "He works fine here. Watch." Turning to the program he said, "Flash, guard."
In a blur of motion, the hologram sped out the door, which barely had time to open. "His job is to watch the corridor for intruders," Sheldon explained.
"Intruders? On a Starfleet vessel?" Connor asked incredulously. Unfortunately, he also had to admit that Sheldon had a point. His program worked in two places and not in the lab where they originated. He gave a slightly disturbed "Hmmm" before stating, "It appears that we have to head back to your lab and run some diagnostics. Based on this demonstration, I am forced to conclude that something may be amiss in your lab."
A Joint Post By:
Lieutenant Junior Grade Sheldon Leonard
Astrophysicist, USS Pioneer
Ensign Connor Turner
Computer Systems Specialist, USS Pioneer
RSS Feed